13 Apr 14

My new best friend - the visual dictionary

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Meant to mention this for a while now. If you’re a writer and English isn’t your native language, get a visual dictionary (this one is mine and I’m really happy with it, but I’m sure there are others as well). Honestly. It makes finding the exact word for any “thingy” soooo much easier than googling “name of thing where the shoe-laces go through”. Just look at the picture and locate the “thingy” you need and the correct name is there.

I’ve been struggling to describe a ray of light bouncing off something for half an hour, before I remembered to see if I could find anything in there and behold!

Some stuff you might find not really interesting at first, but once you think your OTP might want to have a fancy meal in a fancy restaurant, this might be helpful…

… and when they find the chef murdered in the kitchen, just turn the page to chose from an array of assorted possible murder weapons ;-)

It also has a very nice section on clothing  ;-)

13 Apr 14
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I want to write. So so so much. There’s this one scene that keeps repeating itself in my mind, over and over again, wanting to get out of my head and onto the page. And with every day I can’t write it down, the possibility increases that it might not make much sense canon-wise anymore (because by the time I’ve finished this, they’re probably married, have 3 children and ditched the airstream in favour of a nice house ages ago ;-))))). But I *want* to write this. So much. Because I keep hearing Lisbon in my head, asking Jane a question, I keep hearing Jane in my head, telling her something secret from a long time ago. I want to write it down. Now.

Instead, I’m sitting on the sofa, cough medicine on the table, scarf around my neck, tissues everywhere and have been staring at the bookshelf for almost half an hour now. Next to my favourite books sits a small toy unicorn, rearing up on its hind legs, its rider raising one hand into the air. There were no playmobil unicorns when I was little, so I took some paper and made a horn and stuck it to a white horse’s head. There was also no character dressed like the one I envisioned, so I painted what I think was originally a fire-fighter. White pants with green stitches on the side of the legs, brown boots, green vest, white shirt. The green is faded now, almost gone, but funny enough the paper horn is still firmly attached to the horse’s head. I have no idea what glue I used, but apparently it was good. What I do remember is the birthday I got both horse/unicorn and fire-fighter/unicorn-rider. Which is probably why I keep staring at it.

Because tomorrow is my birthday. And I’m dreading it. I’ve had my share of miserable birthdays, but this one is probably going in the top five. I’ve set my expectations very low anyway, but it seems not low enough.

All I’d want for my birthday, is to finish this story - which I won’t get to do, given my brain is not really working due to the third bout of bronchitis this year.

All I’d want for my birthday, is to have a nice caramel coffee thingy from Starbucks in the morning - which is not an option, because there is no time and too much work waiting for me in the office.

All I’d want for my birthday, is a hug from a friend - which I won’t get, because the very few I have don’t live anywhere near me.

All I’d want for my birthday, is not to be alone, miserable and forgotten. Which I will be. Because that’s how it always turns out to be in the end.

Damn, I wish I could write. So I didn’t have to think about all this stuff. I just want to be in a happy fluffy fluff bubble somewhere. Maybe in an airstream. Dreaming of rain. Or something like that.

Tagged: personal writing
9 Apr 14
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‘I adore the way he looks at me sometimes, as if love is a quantity he can’t measure scientifically, because it multiplies too quickly’ - Jodi Picoult
Reblogged from emmajisbon
5 Apr 14

Like a rough sketch (thoughts regarding new spoilers. ignore. seriously ;-)

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Two years later. Those three words. Just three little words and they create such a mess. At least that is my (very) humble and (very) subjective and (probably) very weird opinion, which isn’t really important and spoiler-related, so just ignore me ;-)))) I’m probably just having a bad day.

But I need to write this down, because I can’t stop thinking about this. Especially since waking up this morning to the spoilers that Lisbon is contemplating moving to D.C. with Pike. My first reaction was utter disappointment. Not at the spoiler itself, but at the fact that I just finished a story last week where Lisbon’s reaction to *exactly* this scenario is the *complete* opposite. I was gutted that apparently I’ve gotten her completely wrong and hours later I’m still a little upset. If there were actual written pages on my desk, I’d probably tear them apart with a howl. Luckily all the words are on my notebook and throwing that out of the window is not really an option.

But I am upset. Did I get it *so* wrong? Somehow I refuse to believe that. Maybe it’s because I am stubborn. But my second reaction after calming down a bit was the same. It felt out of character. Still does.

But then again, my point of reference is - more than anything else - Lisbon 1.0. And it’s not because I don’t like the 2.0-version. It’s because in some scenes - especially the few Jisbon scenes  - I feel like there’s something missing. Not in the show itself, but in *them*. It’s like someone’s repainted a beautifully detailed painting you used to look at every day. And it’s not even that you mind the change. You’re actually kind of excited to see new colours and shapes and things. But in some areas of the painting you are not getting the full picture like before, but just a rough sketch, just thin lines, made with a soft pencil, visible, but not substantial enough to guess what they *will* eventually show or others not visible anymore, because they have already been erased or painted over before you could see them and…

Read More

30 Mar 14
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I just finished the longest story I’ve ever written, after *years* of not writing anything, I’ve written 56.000 words in under 2 months. And now I’m sitting at my desk crying and laughing and smiling and just being so relieved that I can write again. That I am “me” again. No words can explain that. But if anyone wants to read the 56.000 other words, here is the link to FF.Net

Dreaming of White

Rating: T (M for chapter 10/11 ;-)
Pairing: Jisbon (obviously)
Spoilers: set a few months into the future, so basically 6x15 & beyond.

Summary: And “In the end it was her choice. But every possible scenario he came up with ended with the same thing. A broken heart. Either his. Or Lisbon’s.” A romantic offer, jealousy, heartache, daydreams and in the middle of it all a crazy killer on the loose in an approaching snow-storm. What could possibly go wrong? Jisbon. Angsty fluffy multi-chapter :)

PS: I now have access to Adobe After Effects. This is not good. Not good at all. There are far too many stupid things you can do with that *points to gifs above*.